A Common Theme

I looked back at my blog today and realized that, yet again, I have let a long period of time pass without posting anything. I feel the need to post this today, though, because something as fantastic as what is to follow should not only reside in my email inbox or on my beloved iPhone. Since my last post, I have made and kept a wonderful friend that I met on my mission trip to Haiti last summer. Although this trip was through my "home" church, aka my parent's church back home, the majority of the people on the trip were people I'd never met before. I have maintained relationships with a number of those folks and cannot believe that it has been almost a year since I met them all for the first time. These relationships have led to a number of experiences that I could not have expected or predicted a year ago, including but not limited to:

-My first trip to San Diego

-Attending Passion 2013

-A devastating heartbreak

-My first trip to Harry Potter world immediately following the previous bullet point

-Reminiscing my high school days and baring my soul over cookie cake with an old friend and a new friend until 4 AM in my kitchen

-Signing up for a second trip to Haiti and bringing one of my best friends from Columbia along

-Turning 26 (okay, I could have definitely predicted that but it wasn't guaranteed!)

Needless to say, the past year has been a bit of a roller coaster. I woke up a few months ago with my head spinning and could have sworn I was back in June of 2012; that it was all a dream. Through the good, bad and great again, I am back holding onto the same promise that never changed - God is faithful. Do I wake up everyday and say to myself, "my life makes perfect sense and I have zero questions about anything", absolutely not. But do I wake up everyday and know that somehow, some way, it will eventually all make sense? Absolutely, it just may take a reminder from my mom or a friend to get me there, depending on the day. I may be clinching my fist or envisioning myself punching something concrete as I say it, but I have to believe it. Otherwise, it's hopeless. I have so many amazing things in my life that I have to be thankful for! I have seen blessing upon blessing the past few months, things I was blind to before. There will never be a day, this side of heaven, that I wake up and things are perfect. Even when things are seemingly perfect, I am hesitant to admit that because I know that the next trial is on the horizon. Without trials in this life we wouldn't have a need for faith because we'd have it all figured out on our own. What a sigh of relief I can give when I close my eyes and realize that God is up above looking down on my life and has it all under control. What a smile I have when I picture that my beloved grandma is up there with Him, eating all the sweets she wants because she is no longer diabetic, and that they're watching over me. All of this brings me back to the purpose of this blog post. Even though there have been months between my blog posts, it seems that for the most part they have a common theme - WAITING. To my dear friend Elizabeth, you are more of a blessing than you will ever know. I am so thankful that God brought us together in the sweltering heat of Haiti, sharing that wonderful bunk bed because He knew that we'd need each other! Thank you for sharing this poem with me today and I hope it encourages anyone who reads this just as it did for me.

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried; Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said, "Wait."

"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

"My future and all to which I relate
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to wait?
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign,
Or even a 'no' to which I can resign.

"You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe, We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply."

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate, As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut, And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
and He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

"I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of my love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

"You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair; You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

"You'd never experience the fullness of love When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start, But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

"The glow of my comfort late into the night, The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

"You'd never know, should your pain quickly flee, What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true, But, oh, the loss, if you missed what I'm doing in you.

"So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late, My most precious answer of all is still . . . Wait."


Elevation Worship - Open Up Our Eyes
Elevation Worship - Give Me Faith