Waiting....Patiently....

Have you ever had to wait for something? Better yet, have you had to wait patiently for something? Of course you have, you're human! Because of that simple fact, I'd be willing to bet that it was difficult to wait, not to mention the added obstacle of waiting with patience. I have had many things at various times in life that I have struggled with, but waiting and being patient through the waiting (I'm going to group those together as one thing) is the one struggle that has so graciously been constant for years. (note the sarcasm with that word "graciously") Through our entire lives we will always have things we will have to wait on, but the past few years I have felt as though everything in life is a waiting game. The illustration I have often thought of and used when venting my frustrations on the subject is that so many important areas of my life are just a huge question mark. This may be the case, but the question I have been wrestling with is "is that a bad or good thing?" Well, that all depends on my attitude and outlook on the various situations.

My sweet mama has sat through many tear-filled (on my end) conversations telling her all about how hard my life is, how it's so unfair that this person has this and that person got that, how she doesn't understand, etc. Bless her heart!!! How is it that mamas can always bring out the tears, even when they don't say a word? One of life's mysteries for sure, but I digress. In one of these recent pity-parties I was throwing for myself she, of course, said she sympathized with me and she prays for all of these same things everyday and doesn't know why I don't have answers yet. Then she asked me something that made me come to a screeching halt where I was and really think..."I know you pray about all these things Kaci, but is there some kind of sin that is maybe blocking you from hearing from God?" My immediate thought was "absolutely not!", thank goodness I didn't say that out loud. As I thought about it more though, I knew that was exactly what the problem was. How could I expect the Lord to be faithful and answer all of these huge questions in my life if I wasn't throwing off the chains and sin that were entangling me and SEEKING Him? It's not possible. Long story short, I have made some changes since then and not only am I much more joyful, I have a completely different outlook on all of these huge life situations.

I think our attitude and outlook toward EVERY situation in life can make or break our joy. Everyday is not going to be a great day, that's for sure. Sometimes things happen that just were not in our plan for that day. Choosing to have a good attitude, though, is the best thing I can do each day with each situation. I'm not talking about waking up and saying "I'm going to be in a good mood today" because that doesn't work. I have tried it. This new attitude idea comes from having a heart and mind focused on the right thing. For me that is focusing on God's promises and knowing that no matter what, He is for me and never against me. It's so easy for me to slip into this self-pity mode of "well I guess God just doesn't care about me on this" and as bad as it feels to admit that, I'd be lying if I said that thought never crossed my mind. So over the past few weeks I have really focused on changing my attitude toward the things I have been having to and am still having to wait on.

One visual Beth Moore used in her James Bible study was based on the verse James 1:17 which says "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows". She used the illustration of gifts. When we see a gift in pretty packaging that has our name on it we are dying to open it. I relate this specifically to Christmas because I am that person who goes and counts my presents then shakes them all, every day until Christmas morning. How disappointed would my mama be if I just decided to open my presents before Christmas morning? I don't even want to entertain that thought, but that is what Beth was getting at. God has all of these precious gifts wrapped up for us but we want to unwrap them before it's time. That's where patiently waiting comes in and it sure is hard sometimes.

As a human, more specifically a girl whose life at 25 is not what I predicted it would be when I was 21, I struggle. But then I take a step back, clear out the negative thoughts, and look at the positive. Ok, so, I am not doing what I thought I would be at this age, but look at all of the blessings that have come from God blessing me with my job. Incredible people to work with and a job I actually enjoy are qualities that can be very hard to find, especially in the same place. I'm not married or even dating anyone, but that just means God's getting me ready for His absolute best who is out there in the world somewhere. In the meantime I have been SO blessed with incredible friendships and had the opportunity to live life on my own as a single, working adult. I get to spend time with my family and friends anytime I want and have been given amazing opportunities to go on mission trips across the world including Haiti this summer. The most exciting thought that makes my heart jump comes from this verse:

"So the Jewish leaders began harassing Jesus for breaking the Sabbath rules. But Jesus replied, 'My Father is always working, and
so am I'.” John 5:16-17 (NLT)

The Lord is always working. No matter how deserted and hopeless a situation may seem, He is always working. He is faithful, he will come through. We have to change our outlook and see these times of trial and frustration as good. James says this in his first chapter:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of
many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces
perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 (NIV)

Notice the words mature and complete, not lacking anything! How wonderful. Now check out the definitions of wait and patience:

Wait (verb)- to stay in place in expectation of

Patient (adj.) - bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint

Whew! Isn't it great how closely those words relate to the word of GOD?! Love it. I have typed entirely too much but because music is such a huge part of my life, I will wrap this up by mentioning two songs that help me stay hopeful and focused:


While I'm Waiting - John Waller

Psalm 13 - Shane and Shane